Prayer Request....for Bob

Hi All,

It has been a very long winter and early spring.  My apologies for being MIA.  I've continued to have health issues and just haven't been able to blog.  But, that's all I will say about myself today.  I am writing to ask you to pray for Bob.  He was admitted to York Hospital yesterday with multiple infections....cellulitis on his face, sinusitis and otitis.  He's feeling horrible.  Today, three different heavy duty antibiotics were ordered, after only one yesterday, and I am hoping that tomorrow his health starts improving.  Following a CT scan today, the sinusitis became apparent and likely explains why analgesics weren't helping his ongoing headache.

We are scheduled to leave on Sunday to take grandchildren, Maddie (14) and Landon (11), to Disney World.  The doctor indicated that Bob will likely be in the hospital until Thursday or Friday, but should be OK to travel on Sunday.  Hoping that he makes a quick recovery.  Mickey and Minnie are waiting for us!

On a happy note: Happy Birthday to my lovely daughter.  It is hard to believe that I gave birth at York Hospital 32 years ago today.  My life was changed immeasurably.  I love you, Anne!

Thanks to all for your ongoing support.  It means so much!
Charlene

It's Me....

My apologies for being MIA for nearly two months.

Thankfully, I finished radiation treatments on January 13th. It was bittersweet saying good-bye to my team at the center.  They were a kind, compassionate group of individuals. 

Now that I am out of my "crisis mode", things have become very internal.  I simply haven't been able to sit down and write. 

Please know that your continued prayers and support mean the world to me.

I'll be back.....

Happy New Year! Here ends the first phase.....

As I walked into the Cancer Center today, the snowflakes were beginning to fly....but, I would soon be basking in the rays of Sunbeam.  Well.  That's partially correct.  Basking is a stretch.  
Today was filled with incredible emotion.  My last full breast radiation....#28! Bryan arrived to escort me from the Women's Waiting Room sporting one of his many Steelers' scrub tops.  Ugh.  He smiles from ear to ear.  I believe he wears them just to enjoy my reaction.  And, I always have one!  We will both be watching the playoffs and Super Bowl without a team to cheer for. :(  He and the others on my amazing team finished their setup and left the room.  I was alone.  Again.  I closed my eyes and the tears began to roll.  Have you ever cried while lying flat on your back with your hands unable to wipe the tears?  My tears rolled straight down my face into my ears. My body shook and I hoped that my team could not see it on the camera.  Did they?

I've come so far, but, I still have seven treatments to go.  On Monday, the team went through the dry run for the "boost phase".  Two additional pieces of equipment are attached to Sunbeam.  It will be delivering a focused beam to the cavity where Dr. Mudge removed the cancerous tissue. But, count....one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.  That's all I have left to endure....then on to the next phase:  Meds.
Honestly, I will miss my amazing team: Bryan, Lanette, Staci and Kym....and Dr. Fortier and his nurse, Darlene.  I will miss the ladies that I've learned to know in the waiting room. There are silver linings in every cloud.  I wouldn't have met these lovely, caring individuals had I not had cancer. I have always had the belief that people come into your life for a reason.  Some stay for a short while and leave....by circumstance, or on their own, but I'm happy they were part of my life for however long.  Some will always be there and for that I'm grateful.  
As I look out into the night I can see the ground blanketed in white.  The lake is not frozen over and the gentle ripples are evident in the reflection of the lights lining the boulevard.  Safe travels tomorrow.
A few additional notes....
I attended my class reunion and it was terrific!  Attendance was not high, but it was wonderful to see those classmates that were able to make it.
I roasted pork and sauerkraut with a bottle of dry Riesling yesterday.  Hoping to attract good luck for 2014!  I'm a PA Dutch girl....not sure that I ever missed eating the traditional dish.
My sister-in-law, Pat, a breast cancer survivor, dropped off a prayer shawl lovingly crocheted by the Council of Catholic Women of St. Joseph's Parish in Hanover.  I love it.  And, it is purple, my favorite color. (Bryan: the color of the Ravens!) 

Thank you for your continuing support.  It means the world to me!! xo 

Christmas Day plus One

I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas! We celebrated on Tuesday with our four children and their families. It was a delightful day!  Christmas Day was laid back and relaxing and included a long nap.

Thanks to my stepson, Mitch, for coming up with the name for "my machine".....it was christened Sunbeam.  One of my friends commented that it looked like a big mixer.  Mitch suggested Sunbeam without being privy to that comment.  I found the Sunbeam logo, printed it on photo paper and took it to the center.  Each day when I walk in for my treatment, the sign is taped to the machine.  Thanks to my team of radiation technicians.  They are the best!!  I asked one to take a picture of me with Sunbeam. The girls, of course, made me smile.  I told them that I didn't want folks to think I am enjoying myself. In my left hand is the pocket-sized prayer shawl that I hold each day along with a scripture verse: Phillippians 4:19 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" .  For Christmas, my friend, Phyllis, gave me a pocket card that she found with the verse.  So, I was able to upgrade from the Post-it note!  Thanks, Phyllis!!  I also wear my bracelets and my mother's diamond heart pendant flanked by a pink ribbon charm, also a gift from Phyllis, and a Pandora bead representing inner strength, a Christmas gift from Anne & Jason.

Good news: My anxiety finally subsided.  I can't tell you what a relief that was! Even "my team" commented that I'm a different person.  My therapist explained that since I was unable to avoid what was causing the anxiety, I acclimated to it.

Today was treatment #24.  WOW! Here's a picture of the chart on the front of our refrigerator.  The progress is evident when you look at the checked boxes.

To summarize, I've had 24 of 28 full breast treatments.  My skin is holding up really well.  I give a lot of credit to the pure emu oil that I apply faithfully three times per day.  I have some itching in my décolleté but Aveeno anti-itch has helped.  I've had no burning, although I have tanned beneath my axilla. Occasionally, I have a twinge of pain.  After the 28th, then I will have seven (7) boosts.  Originally, the doctor indicated five, but when I started, it was up in the air.  The decision has been made for seven, so that's what the +1 and +2 represent on the chart.  Those radiation treatments will target only the cavity where the tissue containing the cancer was removed. 

On Saturday evening, I plan to attend my 40th high school reunion.  I've not missed any of our reunions and I was hoping that my treatments would not prevent me from attending.   

 

Please know that all of your kind words and support mean the world to me.  I enjoy each moment that I spend with you over a cup of coffee, dessert, a meal or on the phone.  I look forward to your responses to my posts. Knowing that so many people are pulling for me is heartwarming.  Thank you!!

In case I don't publish a post between now and next Wednesday....Happy New Year!! I wish you  happiness and good health.  I am definitely looking forward to 2014!!



Dear Friends,

Friday was treatment #11, which tells me it has been a while since I've posted to Pink Ink.  Please forgive me.  I'm struggling to write.  My breast cancer journey has taken a lot of twists and turns and the latest twist surprised even me. 

Anxiety has been ruling my life since my first treatment.  I can't really explain it.  The procedure itself freaks me out.  The fear of the effects on my skin worries me.  And more.....

I'm trying to rein it in and I feel better, thanks in part to meds, but I'm still struggling.  My therapist has been working with me.  My radiation oncologist and the radiation technicians have been trying to help.  My friends and family are encouraging me, some texting me daily.  I have a friend's Miraculous Medal.  I have several prayers and verses from scripture.  A college friend, who is a 5-year "thriver" sent me a lovely pocket-sized prayer shawl and a book "Praying Through Cancer".  Last night, I picked it up and started reading through it.  In the acknowledgement section, the author wrote: The God of the universe wants you to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7)  I felt as though she was talking to me as those words jumped off the page.  

After 11 treatments, my skin is doing OK.  I am grateful and give much credit to the Pure Emu Oil that I am using multiple times per day on the entire area being radiated...direct from Australia!  

As for the procedure itself, that one is hard to explain.  It is a lonely endeavor.  My fight or flight response kicks in.  But...I haven't run out of the room yet.  This is the machine that delivers the beam. The machine rotates around.  First it's to my left shooting the beam and then rotates to my right where I can't even see it.  I've thought about giving the monstrosity a name.  Perhaps Sunshine or Sunny, since it is giving off healing rays.  I'd be open to your help in helping to name it!
 

I am tiring faster and am listening to my body, trying to give it the rest that it needs to aid in the healing process.  Christmas is coming and I'm pacing myself.  Some things will not get done and I need to be okay with that fact.  

That's about all I have today.  Although, I just got a message from my friend that had her bilateral mastectomy three weeks ago....no chemo!  In her words "the best Christmas present ever".

Enjoy the days leading up to Christmas.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support.  I appreciate each gesture, be it a text, call, email, card, visit, flower arrangement.  I don't know what I would do without you!!!!  Love you all!!!

Here we go.....

A couple significant happenings recently.....

I learned that a neighbor's 48 year old daughter was diagnosed last week with early stage breast cancer.  And, I learned on Monday night, that a young woman that I met while in JLY 20+ years ago underwent a bilateral mastectomy on Friday.  Please join me in praying for these two lovely, young women, as they endure their treatments and travel their individual journeys. 

Yesterday, I went for the dry run for my radiation therapy.  My friend arrived early to lend her support which was very sweet of her to do. The experience was daunting!  I cannot begin to explain the complexity of the process.  As I walked through the hallways of the inner workings of the center, it didn't feel like I was in a medical facility. I survived.  As a result of the drawings made on my body, I am aware of the area that will be "hit" with the beam.  The area includes my entire right breast and extends into and past my axilla (a medical term for arm pit.  Sounds so much nicer!  I will never say arm pit again!!) to include the lymph nodes since the microscopic cancer cells showed up on my pathology.  The importance of knowing this area is to enable me to treat my skin multiple times per day to minimize the effects of the radiation.  As some of you know, I am super worried about dermatitis and burning.  It seems to be what is freaking me out the most!   Plus, I learned that I could end up having 35 treatments, but the extra two will not be determined until later. 

I had a bit of a meltdown with the nurse following the dry run.  My emotions have not stabilized yet....

Today, I had a hard time getting out of bed.  Poor Lily.  I didn't get up until 10:00, which also meant Lily did not get out for a walk until then.  Spent the morning crying, until no more tears would flow. 

At 11:00 sharp, the telephone rang.  I peeked at the caller ID and it was Cancer Care.  Dr. Tabatabai was calling.  My heart began to race.  Now what?  He explained that the lab made a second attempt at the Oncotype DX Assay since a second sample was not available to send to them for study.  This time it was successful.  And....MY SCORE WAS 6!!!!  Dr. Tabatabai was pleased that it not only confirmed his decision to not recommend chemotherapy but it was a VERY low score.  The score is on a scale of 100 and scores of 18 and under are considered great and there is definitely no need for chemo.  Recall that this is a study that predicts the likelihood of recurrence.  He said "it is icing on the cake".  I couldn't talk, because I was crying.  He inquired to make sure I was OK and he asked if they were happy tears.  This time they were!

I headed to the center this afternoon for my first treatment.  My friend arrived shortly thereafter.  I was so excited to give her my gift to mark the end of her treatments, complete with tissue paper that had the word "CELEBRATE" all over it.  We sat in the Women's Waiting Room in our blue robes chatting away, only to be interrupted by Mike who came to escort her back for her treatment.  Soon after, Bryan summoned me.  I took one look at him....he had a Steelers' scrub top on! Of course, I had to comment.  He said "Please tell me that you aren't a Ravens' fan".  I laughed and said "I bleed purple!!".  But, I told him that some of my very good friends are Steelers' fans and that I have done one or two kind gestures including making one a Steelers' Birthday Cake.  I suspect he and I will get along.  When leaving, I told him that tomorrow I would wear purple for Purple Friday and he said he would wear a Steelers' Jersey just for me.  I learned from a 27 year old woman today that having a sense of humor there will go a long way.  It is serious business, and some folks being treated are quite possibly in a life and death situation, which I respect with my entire being.  However, if a little humor helps me cope with the treatment, I will call on it!

My friend and I chatted for quite a while by the front door of the Cancer Center.  It is heartbreaking seeing some of the folks entering through those doors.  Most folks would not believe that I have/had cancer and I'm there to be treated. I look healthy, because I am healthy.  I just need to take this extra step to be sure that any remaining cancer cells are obliterated and I can continue to live a long and healthy life. 

As for Pink Ink, I opted to change up the format.  The format doesn't quite scream PINK INK, but it is more easily readable.

Hugs to my family and friends for all of your wonderful support.  Here are a few pictures:

This is the beautiful bouquet that Bob sent to me to wish me well on my first day of treatments. 

 

This one is the calendar that I made for on the refrigerator to help me keep track of my treatments.

 

This is my Westie, Lily, in case you've never seen her. Lily is a Therapy Dog and with that face and her sweet personality, you can understand why the folks at Autumn House love her!  Woof!

 

 

Ready, Set, Go!

I took a walk this morning before Lily and I went for our weekly visit to Autumn House.  Now, I am sitting at my desk looking out over the lake.  What a gorgeous day!  The temperature is 63, there is not a cloud in the sky and it is quite windy. 

So, where am I now in my journey?  Last Tuesday, I had my simulation at the radiation therapy center which included a CT scan, application of a lot of dots and lines with markers and the application of my three target tattoos.  Yep.  I have tattoos.  They are very small and will provide assurance that I am in the correct position each treatment.   At the end of the appointment, I was told that it would take about a week for the doctor to design my plan.  It's rather scientific, and I can't begin to tell you all that goes into it.  Suffice it to say that the beam needs to hit the right area and not anything else! 

On Wednesday, I have an appointment for my "dry run".  On Thursday, my treatments begin.  Finally.  Coincidentally, that is the day for my friend's last treatment.  Our appointments are at the exact same time.  She will be there for moral support.  I'm glad.

The waiting has been nerve-wracking.  I've been grumpy.  I'm sorry.  I just need to get going with the treatments and find out first-hand what to expect.  Hoping that my mood improves.

The center will give me a schedule, but I believe my appointments are at 3:15 each day.  I will have off weekends and also Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day and New Year's Day.  My tentative end date is January 9th.  I'm going to put a calendar on the refrigerator and start the countdown.  33...32...31...

May I please ask for your prayers as I begin this next phase of treatment?